Summary

Benjamin draws on the work of theorists like Winnicott and Stern, noting that recognition of the other’s subjectivity-seeing them as having their own independent experiences and emotions-is a crucial step in self-development. She argues that Mahler’s theory of separation-individuation, particularly the rapprochement phase, can be reinterpreted as a struggle for recognition. In this period, the infant learns not only to differentiate themselves from their caregiver but also to recognize the caregiver as an independent subject. This is not merely about achieving object constancy, but about acknowledging the other as a person with their own will and subjectivity.

Summary

Summary

The article highlights the tension between connection and separation, arguing that development involves not just moving towards autonomy but also learning to tolerate and appreciate the differences between self and others. This tension is central to Benjamin’s concept of intersubjectivity, where both the self and the other are seen as having equal significance in the relational dynamic. The recognition of the other person’s subjectivity allows for attunement and the development of empathy, which is essential for healthy relationships and psychological development.